How have you ever wanted to know exactly how to cherish your wife or your significant other?

Flip the question around.

What is the best way to get to your heart?

Is it food (the way to every man’s stomach, including mine)?

Is it time spent on the couch binging something on Netflix (and possibly “chilling”)?

Everyone has a way to get to their soft and gooey center.

For my wife, one of the best ways is to spend quality time with her.

No phone, no distractions, just solid and high-quality time together.

This could be cuddling on the couch watching a movie, eating out at a nice restaurant for dinner, or even helping her out in the garden.

The key for her is that this time needs to be a time where I’m connected.

That means my smartphone needs to be far away.

Now, I’ve not always been great at this (shit, I’m probably still not).

But I’m very aware that when that there are times when the phone can be on hand and when it absolutely mustn’t come out unless absolutely necessary (puppy videos on Instagram don’t count).

As we get busier and the responsibilities pull at us, it’s easy to forget to put some important and needed focus on our partner.

They have a specific way they want to be connected with and it’s our job not to identify this, but to make sure we’re engaging with this.

(By the way, and this shouldn’t need to be said, but the same is true for you. You deserve to have your connection realized. You really do!)

How to cherish your wife with love languages

You’ve undoubtedly heard about love languages before, but just in case you haven’t, here’s a helpful list of love languages and what they mean (courtesy of cratedwithlove.com, and they even have a helpful quiz to help you find your primary love language here):

Words of affirmation

Expressing love through words that connect you to your partner, help them feel appreciated, and establish trust through spoken communication.

If your partner’s primary love language is affirmation, it’s important to have an open line of communication with them and to express yourself freely.

Acts of service

This is the “action Jackson” love language.

Acts of service mean specific ways that you show you love that person, beyond just words spoken.

For example: taking out the garbage without being asked, changing that lightbulb before she notices, and even cooking a surprise meal for them.

Don’t forget that sometimes it’s the simple gestures that can have the greatest impact.

If your partner’s primary love language is acts of service, pay careful attention to the things they do around the house or in your everyday interactions.

This will be a clue to ways you to help them feel you’re paying attention and noticing what’s important to them.

Receiving gifts

This love language isn’t about just flowers, chocolates, or a Tiffany bracelet.

This love language is about thoughtful gift-giving and unexpected surprises (a stuffed animal on the way home from work waiting on the passenger car seat, tickets to a movie or a play, or even a surprise lunch can easily speak this love language).

This is truly where the thought counts, so pay attention.

If your partner’s a vegetarian and you bring them shawarma, they won’t be too impressed.

Quality time

Listen, guys, this is especially important if quality, special time is your partner’s love language: put your phone away! This love language is all about focus and attention to your partner. This doesn’t mean any Netflix, but it might mean actually watching it and being ready to have a discussion afterward, or putting the phone away and stroking her hair or giving her a foot massage (this is a love language multiplier, quality time, receiving gifts, and the next love language – physical touch).

Physical touch

Bow chicka wow wow, right guys? Actually, no, not necessarily. This one isn’t about hanky panky. It’s about those moments when you gently stroke her hair, caress her arm, give her a shoulder or neck rub, or even just hold her hand. Physical touch isn’t overt, it’s specifically focused on connecting with your partner in physical ways that help them feel close to you.

It’s important to know that while your partner may have a very dominant love language, they may also have multiple love languages.

For example, Stephanie’s dominant love language is quality time, but she also has a strong pull for physical affection.

(By the way, she tells me I basically have all of the above, which either makes her choice of me as a partner pure genius or crazy…love you, babe!).

30 simple ways to show how to cherish your wife

Below I have compiled the top 30 ways your wife will feel cherished by you. This is a very straightforward list of how to prioritize your wife’s feelings.

As you review these, keep the love languages above in mind and consider how your partner may need to have one of the suggestions filtered through her love language.

For example, encouraging and supporting her dreams and goals may mean she wants you to listen to her as she discussed what her plans are (quality time), she might your active help in mapping our your future together (acts of service), or she might need your encouragement to pursue a dream of hers (words of affirmation).

I put love languages at the top of this article because it’s vital to learn love languages first before trying to implement any of the suggestions below.

Once you’ve figured these out, try some of these suggestions out and see what works.

Don’t try these all at once (that might be overkill and it may feel like you’re trying too hard). 

Instead, pick one for the week, keep it in your mind, and find a good time to bring it into practice.

The list

1. Compliment her appearance and character

2. Encourage and support her dreams and goals

3. Express appreciation for her contributions to the family and relationship

4. Plan a regular date night, spending time together uninterrupted

5. Engage in activities she enjoys, even if they may not be your preference

6. Be fully present during conversations, giving her your undivided attention

7. Help with household chores without being asked, even little things

8. Take care of the kids to give her a break

9. Prepare a special meal or surprise her with breakfast in bed

10. Show affection through hugs, kisses, and cuddling

11. Hold hands while taking a walk or watching a movie

12. Give her a relaxing massage if she’s having a difficult time or a difficult day

13. The significance of celebrating love on Valentine’s Day

14. Creative and simple ways to make Valentine’s Day special for your wife

15. Maintaining the spirit of love and appreciation throughout the year

16. Leaving love notes around the house for her to find

17. Making a conscious effort to maintain eye contact during conversations

18. Regularly telling her she is the most beautiful woman in your eyes

19. Doing simple things to help her on a daily basis (even small things)

20. Spending quality, consistent time together on a weekly basis

21. Surprise her with a small gift that shows you were thinking of her

22. Plan a surprise weekend getaway or a day trip to create lasting memories

23. Take care of all responsibilities for a day to give her a well-deserved break

24. Send her a loving text message or voice note during the day

25. Offer a warm hug or kiss when you see each other after work

26. Cook her favorite meal for dinner just because

27. Write her a heartfelt love note or letter expressing your feelings

28. Support her hobbies and interests by taking part in them together

29. Listen actively when she wants to share her thoughts and feelings

30. Plan a surprise romantic evening at home or at her favorite place

Conclusion

Successful relationships are about commitment, but they are also about effort.

No relationship succeeds where both partners aren’t committed to improving themselves and how they present themselves.

Review the love languages and take time with the suggestions above to see which one you think will work best.

Some of this work might require some deep self-reflection and unlearning of old habits.

Most importantly, don’t give up on learning about your partner and what they want from you in your relationship. Your investment in the relationship will have a big impact and help ensure you’re building on the foundations of a healthy relationship.

The best relationship magic comes from finding out what makes your wife tick and then being able to deliver.